He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
