i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize