If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
