I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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