glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
