Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
