Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
