Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
