I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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