i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
