My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
