Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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