Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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