Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
