There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
did i walk over a car last night?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
