There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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