I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
