It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
