when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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