I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
