dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
