so explain again why im purple
no
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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