You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
