i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
