You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
