I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
