I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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