Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
