I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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