butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
