just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
