Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is the high leading the old right now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
