so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
