Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The air was thick with penises
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
