Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
