You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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