It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
