ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did I show you my penis last night?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're a waste of cheezeits
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
