I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
