My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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