Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
