I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
