My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
