afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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