Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
