So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
