Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
