Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
