in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
