party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
